1. |
Egg
03:59
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Safe man
Looks a lot like a dead man
Got a thirty-year plan that’ll see him to his grave
He’s got a safe life
Always has to measure twice
Then he's gotta measure one more time
He’s measuring the grave
This is a song from the inside of the egg
Can’t somebody somewhere come and help me break out
Soon enough he’s gonna die
Calendar is flipping by
He lies there in the nighttime and wonders how to change
Reaches out and wakes his wife
Says, “Honey, I wanna live,
I wanna try
Let’s be brave and terrified instead of jumping in the grave”
This is a song from the inside of the egg
Can’t somebody somewhere come and help me break out
Come on
Pretty dark in here now
Get me out of here now
Nothin’ left to fear but fear
I’m ready now
It feels too small
Beat my head on the wall
Think I’m doing it right now
Cause I see a little bit of light now
Soon enough we’re gonna die
Calendar is flipping by
We lie there in the nighttime and wonder how to change
So come and gaze into my eyes
Tell me what you wanna try
Let’s be brave and terrified in honor of the grave
This is a song from the inside of the egg
Can’t somebody somewhere come and help me break out
Come on
Pretty dark in here now
Get me out of here now
Nothin’ left to fear but fear
I’m ready now
It feels too small
Beat my head on the wall
Think I’m doing it right
Cause I see a little bit of light
This is a song from the inside of the egg
Stand back
This is a song from the inside of the egg
Gonna crack
This is a song from the inside of the egg
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2. |
Besotted
04:46
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I’m besotted
Cupid drew his bow and he shot it
You’ve probably spotted the signs
I’ve got designs upon you
Besotted
Cause Baby, you got it
I’m not gonna leave this spot till you’re besotted too
I’m besotted
Though for a long time,
I fought it
I couldn’t stop the slide
Everything mama taught me, I forgot it
Cause I’m besotted
And I’m gonna haunt this spot till you’re besotted too
I’m besotted
Like you were the flu and I caught it
My fever’s running high
I’ve got my eye upon you
Besotted
If you moved to the moon, I’d get astronauted
And I’m gonna give you all that you ever wanted
Get my thumb on your carotid
Stop your pulse and get it restarted
Till you’re besotted too
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3. |
Vanishing
03:30
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I believed for many years
that I would be well loved if I just did everything right
like a baby on an airplane
we call her good if she stays quiet
What I did not realize
was that I was slowly shrinking in size
every time that I turned my eyes away
instead of saying what I wanted to say
and if I make myself small enough
turn my face to the wall enough
curl into a ball enough
I will not bother you at all
cause I’m vanishing
like a top-hat magician
I’m vanishing
like the news they hide
I’m vanishing
like the oil we keep on drilling
I am vanishing
till I’m all gone
even on the inside
I can’t blame you, although I’d like to
Like to name you as conspirator in my own silence
but the truth is it’s me keeping my own mouth shut
it’s me keeping it inside
The question is one of worthiness
the question is, where do you start
I cannot embrace my fear with my fingers in my ears
determined not to hear my own heart
and if I make myself small enough
if I turn my face to the wall enough
curl into a ball enough
I won’t bother anyone at all
I’ll be vanishing
like a top-hat magician
I’m vanishing
like the news they hide
I’m vanishing
like the oil we keep on drilling
I am vanishing
till I’m all gone
yes I am vanishing
like a top-hat magician
I’m vanishing
like the news they hide
I’m vanishing
like the conscience of our nation
I am vanishing
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4. |
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There’s a story down the midway strip
Past the man with the animal balloons
Past the psychic with the neon moon
Set to the sound of a calliope tune
Two tents, cheek to cheek
The Fattest Man in the World!
and the Primitive Fur-Covered Woman from Darkest Brazil!
Pay a quarter and take a peek
You catch ‘em back there in between shows
snatching kisses and speaking low
The bearded lady and the fat man
they’ve been an item since the circus began
Two tents with adjoining flaps
Past the tent where the Hottentots dance
It’s a midway story, but a three-ring romance
He runs his fingers through the hair on her back, he says, “You know, I’ve never been so happy—
I’m gonna build you a cottage, I’m gonna grow you lilacs
and lilies and columbines and morning glory vines.”
You catch ‘em back there in between shows
snatching kisses and speaking low
The bearded lady and the fat man
they’ve got each other and they’ve got a plan
Two wrongs may not make a right, but two loving freaks make a very nice night
So go and turn the gas lamps blue
Baby let me be a freak with you
“With you,” he said,
“I could do the tightrope walk
I could make the seals stand up and talk
I could juggle a torch
and a watermelon and an egg and a ringing alarm clock.”
“With you,” she said,
“I’m on the trapeze
Like I’m up there swinging by my knees
And when I let go and I’m flying through the air
I know you’ll be my net down there
I don’t know what it is about you baby,” she said,
“I know you make me feel safe
Something real solid about you baby
Something to pin me in place”
She said, “I love you,
you freak, I love you”
You catch ‘em back there in between shows
snatching kisses and speaking low
The bearded lady and the fat man
They know what love is, if anybody can
Two wrongs may not make a right, but two loving freaks make a very nice night
So come on, baby, hold me tight
Two wrongs may not make a right, but two loving freaks make a very nice night
So go and turn the gas lamps blue
Baby let me be a freak with you
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5. |
Galaxies
02:20
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What do you do when the world that seemed so clear to you is impossibly hidden
How do you cope when you go home alone and the phone that you hear is your own ears ringing
How does it feel when you’re lying in your room and you’re lying to yourself and aligned with nothing—
the latest display in a human museum with a velvet rope saying please no touching
People laugh when you say that you’ve never felt this way before
But galaxies spin out where we’ve never been
so why is it so crazy they should spin within
How do you fire the wire of your frozen spine and get your nerve back
How do you let yourself dare
to walk a barefooted path over broken glass
What do you do with your face in the mirror, your past in the future, your heart on the sleeve
What do you do when you can’t stand leaving, you can’t stop looking, and you can’t breathe
People laugh when you say that you’ve never felt this way before
But galaxies spin out where we’ve never been,
so why is it so crazy they should spin within
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6. |
Ernst
03:30
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Mommy was a narcissist and daddy was a drunk
Not that I believe it’s only parents who determine how the kids turn out
But there are those who shouldn’t breed
They didn’t pay attention and they didn’t seem to care
Probably would have left him with a sitter, but the truth is they forgot that he was there
Let me tell you, he remembered
In later years, when the therapist would probe him for the root of all his anger,
here’s what he would tell:
“I only wanted to be held”
The day that he turned nine, he got a kitten in a box
Snowball was a stand-in for all the petting that he never ever got—Happy birthday, Darling
Darling, I want to ride a missile to the moon
Ten-second countdown
No one left to stop it now
Red reactor meltdown
Well I pushed the override of everything inside
Ready for attack
If the world doesn’t love you back, stroke the white cat
He took the Persian every-where, he smuggled it to school
Till they wrote him up for an infraction of the rules and they took the cat away
The camel’s back was broken
The papers wrote in hushed and horror-stricken tones
of the boy who sat among the monkey bars and bones with the kitten in his lap
The schoolyard charred and smoking
To get his pet back was his innocent intention
World domination was the natural extension
It all makes sense if you can feel what he felt
The little boy who just wanted to be held
I want to ride a missile to the moon
Ten-second countdown
No one left to stop it now
Red reactor meltdown
Well I pushed the override on everything inside
Steady for attack
If the world doesn’t love you back, stroke the white cat
Ernst Blofeld only wanted to be held
Ernst Blofeld only wanted to be held
That’s all he ever wanted
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7. |
Rock
02:41
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Is it one of those days
with the past upon you
like a blanket of lead
and just getting out of bed
is hard enough
don’t ask for any more please
I know that your heart isn’t fully free
and you’re not fully sure of me
I know that you’re out there, that you’re swimming hard—
stretching out for a distant shore that you cannot see
And if you’re looking for a rock
You wanna catch your breath
If you need a place
where you can find some rest
when you’re lost at sea
you can just swim back to me
Listen
I want to say that I understand when you swim away
I might be lonely, but I’m not afraid to sit and wait
let the waves wash over me
And if you’re looking for a rock
You wanna catch your breath
If you need a place
where you can find some rest
when you’re lost at sea
Honey just swim back to me
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8. |
Phoenix
03:57
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I am an eyeball
I am nothing else at all
I am a particle of God
I do not worship what they taught me
I chose to choose confusion over fraud
Why is there so much beauty
oh I want to taste it all
Lead me to the apple
I’m ready for the fall
I am a window
I am sunlight on the sill
I am the photograph you took the day you kissed me
I wonder if you miss me
I wonder if you will
I am a prism
refracting you in every possibility
Why is there so much beauty
oh, I want to taste it all
Lead me to the apple
I’m ready for the fall
I am a slave to the slant of light
that falls upon your face
at the restaurant
If you tell me what you want
I’ll give it if I can
I am a phoenix
Singed but rising in spite of everything
why is there so much beauty
and how can I ever taste it all
lead me to the apple
I’m ready for the fall
Tell me why is it so beautiful it hurts me
and how can I ever taste it all
Lead me to the apple
I’m ready for the fall
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9. |
The Song You Play
01:10
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I love to watch you play
I love the way your fingers reach and stroke and strum
and each note sweeter than the one before
Sometimes I know the score and sometimes it’s a foreign tune you try
I can’t deny how much
I would love to be the strings that ring and tremble at your touch
I love to hear you sing
I love the things you do with rhythm
with a mellow melody or something bubbly
a word or phrase that stays in memory for days
I wish that I could be the air you pull into your chest with every breath
I’d like to be the words you say
I’d like to be the song you play
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10. |
Princess, Incognito
04:37
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Moonlight through the branches I’m standing here alone
Midnight’s just a memory
I can’t find my way home
I forgot the magic words
and the crumbs have been eaten by the birds
My mother knew the danger
She tried to keep me in
Said, Never talk to strangers—
the wolf with a persuasive grin—
But the minute she turned her back
I lit out for the forest black
The quest applies
And it’s the same old story
Same old thing
Everybody thought I oughtta wed the king
Tried to write another song to sing about
Your breath in my brain
The pain was unexpected
Grew up sneaking pages
Flashlight in the quilt
Stories bound in leather
and edged in guilt
Then you fed me gingerbread
and showed me what we could do instead
I wore a peddler’s jacket
I was surprised you couldn’t tell
that you knew me from the palace
I disguised myself too well
And the minute I turned my back
you left me in the forest black
The smart survive
And it’s the same old story
Same old scene
Everybody thinks she’d like to be the queen
Tried to write another song to sing about
Your breath in my ear
It’s unclear you even noticed
The youngest brother
You were supposed to have a heart of gold
The tales told that you were surely the one who would take me away
But then the tale took a twitch
Not surprising to the wicked witch
Who told me from the start
That every human heart
Is only gilded at the rim
She said, You’d better stay away from him
Mistaken implication
‘bout the book and the cover
A green-eyed invitation from another lover
The hope of reconciliation brings me back
to the forest black
The heart contrives
And it’s the same old story
Same old game
You found another princess and you crowned her with your name
Don’t you care that I still feel the same about
Your breath in my life
My life in your hands
Your hands on my heart
My heart in my mouth
on your mouth
Oh
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11. |
Dog Day
04:49
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Dog day summer heat as the sun goes down
Ooh, it’s a dog day summer
Sit on the deck with a glass in one hand
and a letter in the other
Bad news and heartache once again
but I can’t seem to care
It’s too damn hot to care
You paid me a penny for my thoughts
but it was too hot to explain
lightning scrapes the orange sky
but not a sign of rain
And it’s too damn hot to fight
Too damn hot to plan
Sun is pressing down with a heavy heavy hand
It’s too damn hot to love
Too damn hot to move
Too damn hot to do anything but clink the ice cubes
in the dog day summer heat as the sun goes down…
And it’s too damn hot to fight
Too damn hot to plan
Sun is pressing down with a heavy heavy hand
It’s too damn hot to love
Too damn hot to move
Too damn hot to do anything but clink the ice cubes
in the dog day summer heat as the sun goes down
dog day summer heat as the sun goes down
dog day summer heat as the sun goes down
dog day summer heat as the sun goes down
Sit on the deck with a glass in one hand
and my past in the other
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12. |
More Than Reasons
03:08
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Why do I love you so bad
Why would I drive five hundred miles for the sight
of the light in your eyes
How do you reach me so deep
Why can’t I sleep
until I can breathe you
How do you ease me so
Why do I care this way
I can’t seem to tear myself away
What makes me hold you
so hard
Why does time stop in your arms
Well there’s reasons
and then there’s magic
Words can’t explain
what my heart does
Each time you walk into view
Words are nothing but shadows
But they’re all that we’re given to use
How do you touch me the best
Why can’t I rest
until I am with you
What makes me miss you so
Why do I care this way
I can’t seem to tear myself away
What makes me hold you
so hard
Why does my heart insist
that I’ve got to be kissed
And now kiss me again
Cause there’s reasons
and then there’s magic
Yes there’s so much more than reasons
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Jenny Katz Northampton, Massachusetts
Whatever happens, there will always be music.
Like interviews? Listen to the
Composer Quest interview (Episode 34, "Physical Songwriting with Jenny Katz" or Tour 4, "Songwriting in New England") at www.charliemccarron.com/composer-quest/#episodes
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